MPAA Blues Copyright 1999 by Adam Selzer, All Rights Reserved, ASCAP Here's a little song that I'll play on my guitar The following lyrics have been rated "R" For some mighty strong language and adult situations Which'll have to be cut when if it goes to syndication There's hard times at the movies 'cause of the MPAA The MPAA is a right friendly lot Who seem to think that sex is not as safe as being shot Gonna watch your movie, count how many times you cussed And if you have sex scene count how many times you thrust There's hard times at the movies 'Cause of the MPAA Well 'butt' is to 'ass' as 'stink' is to 'suck' and 'witch' is to 'bitch' as 'freak' is to 'fuck' if that's adult language, please tell me what to call terms like "with whom" and "wherewithal" there's hard times at the movies 'cause of the MPAA You can have your violence, a ton of blood and guts Maybe have the lady kick that fellow in the nuts But if she tries to touch 'em nicely, better cut that scene Or you're gonna wind up with an nc-17 There's hard times at the movies 'cause of the MPAA Here're some new ratings that I'd like to recommend An E rating for the films you think'll never end And another one that I call FC-17 We'll give that to all the films that have a fruit cart scene There's hard times at the movies Cause of the MPAA 8/13/99 tune: Tanner's Farm (trad) BACK TO HOME PAGE Copyright 2003 by Adam Selzer, all rights reserved, ASCAP