How Mark Got His Sanity Back
Copyright 2002 by Adam Selzer, all rights reserved, ASCAP

Mark Henry was a dish washing man, lawd lawd
Mark Henry was a dish washing man
all night long he'd scrub 'em clean
in a restaurant too cheap to by a washing machine
instead there were three silver tubs in a row
first he'd scrub in tub one then the dishes would go
into tub #2, a rinse-based fixture,
then tub three was the sanitzer - a bleach water mixture

Tub one tub two tub three
tub one tub two tub three
all night long with a break at 10:15
he'd wash them all night and have nightmares all day
Mark knew that his sanity was getting away
first it was creeping off like a wounded best pal
but soon it was running like Archie Bunker's old LaSalle
he knew this was bad, but what could he do?
he looked at tub one then he stared at tub two
then he looked at tub three, and something snapped in his brain.
So Mark decided to stick his head in the sanitizer to get himself sane.

He was down there 35, 45, 55 seconds, a minute or more,
until Jeff the cook came in and nearly fell on the floor
when he found Mark drowning a pool of sanity he was heard to shout
"Hey. Mark's drowning in a pool of sanity. Ask Jane if we should get him out."
Jane, the manager, drew heavily on her last cigarette
rolled her eyes, and said "Yeah, you'd better get
the little dork out of there, and get a doctor to see if he's all right...
Oh, crap, who's gonna finish the dishes tonight?"
So the ambulance came and they hauled Mark away
and said that, physically, he was perfectly okay
but they recommended therapy to work on his brain.
And Mark came out of therapy...perfect sane.

        September 2002(based on monologue
         written September 1997)

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All content copyright 1998-2003 by Adam Selzer, all rights reserved. All songs ASCAP.
Email:adam@adamselzer.com